I’m back and making my triumphant return to writing about the wonder that was the 7th wars of Robot Wars. I know this has always been a filler whilst we wait for the new series to air, but it’s good fun all the same. And, whilst most of the 7th wars has been a haven for flippers, Tornado changed that around in the last episode by going on and winning themselves, increasing their chances of retaining their UK Championship crown. This episode, Heat F, sees a whole host of competitors looking to join them, including 11th seeds X-Terminator, who have changed their weapon configuration once again. They are joined by the likes of Tsunami, Killer Carrot 2, Major Tom, Diabolus, Fluffy, Scary-Go-Round and Constrictor. Some wonderful names- and wonderful robots- in that group. Killer Carrot, what a name.
Let’s kick off the actual fighting, with the first melee, containing X-Terminator (11), Tsunami, Major Tom 3 and Diabolus.
First up is X-Terminator, a robot that changes its configuration almost as many times as it enters the warzone. Fed up of having an axe that didn’t do as much damage as they would have wanted it to, the powers at the helm of the robot have swapped it out for a small vertical disc that weighed 14kg and span at 1,500rpm to give it a lot more bite and hopefully a lot more destruction. It also now sports a set of cone shaped horns on the side, for aesthetics (Well, and self-righting), something to combat the plethora of flippers it could potentially come up against *Cough* Tsunami *Cough*. They’re seeded 11th, but in the warzone that means nothing. Might fuel their sunglasses clad egos though.
Next up is Tsunami, which is pronounced how you would expect and not how it was actually pronounced when it entered the arena. A 99kg boulder of a robot, Tsunami comes from Germany, where it finished runner up in German Robot Wars. Not satisfied with that result, here they are looking to give it a go in the big time and go one further. They might have a good chance too, because not only is the 7th wars flipper haven, Tsunami’s flipper is rather powerful and the robot can go at 30mph. That’s faster than most drivers over the age of 75 will ever get to.
Thirdly we have Major Tom, technically Major Tom 3. The ever lovable, patriotic robot has never enjoyed much success, only ever going as far as the second round in the heats on two occasions, and going out in round one in the 6th wars. It looks less like a funfair dodgem now, and it no longer goes like one either with a top speed of just 4mph, but does supposedly have much greater pushing power. Also, exposed head.
Finally we have Diabolus, the second robot in this fight to come from The Isle of Sheppey after Major Tom. A new robot, Diabolus is a pain to spell correctly and even more of a pain to come up against in the arena, if the 1000rpm dual spinning discs are anything to go by. As well as some rather nasty looking weaponry, it can also run either way up and has Aluminium checker-plate armour to protect it. *Only* weighs 94kg, which could make it susceptible to big flips from the likes of Tsunami.
Anyway, enough with the introductions. The house robots for this battle are the battle hardened Sgt. Bash and the equally tough bulldozer of Shunt. We’re ready to get things underway!
Straight away Diabolus make a charge at Major Tom, slamming into the side of them and taking off the head. I didn’t know 3 second decapitations were a thing in Robot Wars but apparently they are now. Fortunately for Major Tom the decapitation is purely superficial. Diabolus, having struck gold with Major Tom, next attack Tsunami, who are less of an easy target and retaliate by tossing Diabolus over.
Meanwhile X-Terminator has picked up the slack on Major Tom, actually managing to turn them over before leaving them for Diabolus. Diabolus charge, then connect with X-Terminator and off comes one of the discs!
There’s a lot of chopping and changing with regards to which robot is going after which, but nobody is ever left alone for long. With X-Terminator having now relieved Diabolus of one of its weapons, Tsunami have been busy taking Major Tom- which let’s face it couldn’t run away if it wanted to- over to the arena side wall, where Tsunami’s powerful flipper is put to good use, and Major Tom is flung out of the arena!
The Isle of Sheppey are starting to crumble, because not only is Major Tom no longer with us, but Diabolus are in really bad shape too, thanks to X-Terminator’s powerful disc and Diabolus’ not so capable armour. With Diabolus sitting on the arena side wall with the top armour panel hanging loose, Tsunami are once again called in to wash them away, and soon Diabolus are left chilling with Major Tom… Out of the arena.
After all is said and done, X-Terminator and Tsunami are going through!
With that battle sorted, we now move onto the rest of the challengers for this heat. They are Scary-Go-Round (Puns, puns everywhere), Killer Carrot 2, Constrictor and Fluffy. Spinners and flippers, what more could you want.
First we have Constrictor, a robot that has an innovative look to it. With space age silver coloured armour and not only possessing the ability to self-right itself but run both ways up in the first place, Constrictor looks ready to take on anything. Throw in a weapon that can perform not one but two tasks, as either a flipper or a crusher (Or should that be constrictor?), then they look like they stand a good chance of making it through the initial melee. But this is Robot Wars, and nothing is straightforward.
One of the robots they’ll have to beat is Fluffy, which is in no way, shape or form actually fluffy. At its heart, Fluffy is a ruthless robot killing machine that takes no mercy, but also has its own problems with reliability that means it can’t often get 100% efficiency out of its fights. Think Fernando Alonso in the McLaren Honda- great driver, but the car never finishes a race. Fluffy has a vicious bar spinner which can get up to 1500rpm, enough to put a dent in anybody’s hopes, and will hope to use it to full effect this time around.
Next we have Killer Carrot 2, which… well… Killer Carrot. A flipper by nature, it has a paint scheme which leaves you in no doubt about how it got its name. Great if you need to see it in the dark, but not something that’s going to make it any more deadly. Not the fastest at 8mph, but I don’t think you wanted to be on the end of the flipper if you could help it. The Killer Carrot may not actually be a killer, but it’s still a battle hardened war bot.
Finally we have Scarey-Go-Round, a full body spinner designed to look like a fairground carousel. I don’t think I really need to say any more than that.
Your house robots for this battle are Sir Killalot and Sgt. Bash, who I’m pretty sure hasn’t actually moved an inch since the start of melee 1. Hasn’t needed to.
The battle starts with Constrictor and Killer Carrot going at each other, then proceeding to give each other a hug. Well, I’m sure that wasn’t their intention, but with both robots trying and failing to flip each other, it ended up looking more like a hug. Meanwhile Scarey-Go-Round already have several holes in the side of their robot thanks to the wonder that is Fluffy. Start as you mean to go on and all that.
Killer Carrot and Constrictor are still locked together in some kind of awkward dance, despite a random panel from Constrictor falling off. They must both be having a great time out there, which can’t be said for Scarey-Go-Round, who is now going round in circles after yet more torment at the hands of Fluffy. However, Fluffy, as a result of exerting itself so much in tearing apart Scarey-Go-Round have now pretty much burnt themselves out. The large volume of white smoke is testament to that as they also spin on the spot.
The true McLaren Honda of Robot Wars.
Killer Carrot are now going after everyone, with varying degrees of success. Mostly on the lower end of the scale though, seeing as they can’t actually seem to flip anybody over outright. Scarey-Go-Round are still going in circles whilst Fluffy have practically given up altogether, and accepted their fate as Sgt. Bash’s chew toy. Killer Carrot then activate the pit, and Fluffy come back to life! No working weapon though.
Scarey-Go-Round, who were still vaguely moving, are now not moving having trapped themselves on the flame pit. Whilst they’re burning, the clock is counting down, and with everyone technically still mobile, we’re off to the judges!
. . .
Killer Carrot 2 and Constrictor are going through!
Whilst Fluffy dealt a lot of early damage, the fact the robot pretty much killed itself half way through means that this was probably the right decision. I just hope Killer Carrot doesn’t try to hug one of either X-Terminator or Tsunami, because it’ll likely not end well.
But there we have it. X-Terminator, Tsunami, Killer Carrot 2 and Constrictor are your 4 robots making it through to the second round. Soon we’ll see how they get on, but until then…