Robot Review: Coyote (S09E05)

I think week 5 was my favourite week for competitors, just because some of the robots were so interesting and unique. From the giant flapping monolith that was Ms Nightshade to a fighting shopping trolley in Trolley Rage. Now we have Coyote, which, amongst other things, has a chainsaw for a tail! A chainsaw. Love it.

Coyote comes from Jamie McHarg, who was one third of the PP3D team last series. Coyote, it’s fair to say, is nothing like PP3D- the major weapon on Coyote is a pair of crushing jaws which can be used to wither clamp or crush the opponent, whilst it also has the aforementioned chainsaw tail, which can spin up to 3,000rpm. It looks like it came out of some techno steampunk workshop from the future, although I don’t know what that says about its chances. Coyote isn’t the heaviest at just 100kg, but can go a swift 15mph.

To get through the first melee, Coyote would have to get through defending champions Apollo, as well as purple cone of doom Ms Nightshade and Ceros V2.0 Rusty.

Coyote immediately picked out Ms Nightshade as a target, but it probably wasn’t the best idea, with the robot being far too tall and smooth for Coyote to get any purchase anywhere with the jaws. Then Apollo came calling, and Coyote pretty much got the hell out of there. Apollo followed, but couldn’t quite flip Coyote. Not yet.

There’s a brief lull in the fight whilst Ms Nightshade and Rusty are counted out, but soon enough Apollo are back chasing after Coyote, and this time they do get flipped, though they land straight back on their wheels. Somehow afterward, Coyote manage to trap themselves in a CPZ whilst Dead Metal comes back with Ms Nightshade, which allows Apollo to come in and flip them again. It’s all very condensed.


Regardless of this, Coyote a) can run both ways up and b) is one of the last robots standing. And so they’re going through to the Head to Heads.

Coyote’s first Head to Head is against the surprise package of the 9th wars, Crackers N Smash. At least the clusterbots look like they’re a nice shape to be grabbed. However, Coyote would be going in there without the chainsaw tail, seeing as it had spontaneously destroyed itself in the melee.

Things started well for Coyote, catching Smash in the jaws and clamping hold of them, before driving them across the arena and into the claws of Dead Metal. But teaming up against a clusterbot is hard work, and soon Coyote are somewhat overrun by the two robots. If they attack one, the other comes from them. So they go for the next best option, and hit the pit release button, which gives us some rogue house robots! So, once again, Smash gets grabbed by Dead Metal for a few seconds.

Apparently Crackers N Smash liked that idea too, because soon they hit the button, and we get rogue house robots again! But this time it’s Matilda who comes out, and she sets her sights on Coyote, eventually managing to get around and hit the front jaw with her flywheel, bending it out of shape.

Coyote are struggling to hold back both Crackers and Smash, with the clusterbot teaming up and making life very difficult for the damaged robot. Crackers, with the low wedge, can fairly easily get underneath Coyote, and Smash has a good push on it too. Eventually Coyote are pretty much bullied into the corner of the arena, where they are left to die. Which is basically what they do, because something in Coyote has broken, and the robot has ceased all movement. Well, the jaw still works, but that’s not enough. The clusterbots have defeated them.

It’s not a great start for Coyote, and it’s only going to get harder from here on out, because next up they face an Apollo hurting from defeat to Carbide in the previous fight.

And it’s not a great start from Coyote, who seem to only have the use of one wheel, so they’re spinning in circles. This is great for Apollo, who come in and send them barrelling through the air and into Sir Killalot, upside down. Killalot almost drives over them, but does push them back into the arena, where Apollo can come in again. This time they flip Coyote back onto their wheels, but that’s hardly doing them any favours at this point.

Killalot is basically becoming the push bot, pushing Coyote back into play every time Apollo flips them. Now, Coyote is dangerously close to the low part of the arena, but Apollo haven’t managed to flip them out yet. Mainly just into Sir Killalot.

But this doesn’t last much longer. After Killalot once again pushes them into the middle of the arena (Looking one way, they’re still by the wall), Apollo manages to flip them on their side, right next to the wall. The next flip is the one that tips them over, but they don’t sail over, more like doing a pole vault.

They’re still out.

Making an exit
Making an exit

So now Coyote, with zero points, have no way of getting into the heat final. But they still have to face Carbide, which is some way to finish, that’s for certain. Carbide, on the opposite side of the scale, are sailing into the heat final. So, on paper, a mismatch. But still, who knows what could happen!

Coyote manages to go about 3 seconds without getting hit, but when Carbide does make contact, it’s Carbide that’s sent flying through the air. The jaws of Coyote are made of strong stuff, but it still leaves them damaged, such is the power of Carbide.

Coyote are once again chilling with Sir Killalot, who once again just wants to get the robot out of its CPZ. As that’s happening, Carbide come in for another attack in pretty much exactly the same position, with much the same result. This time Killalot does want to know and grabs Coyote, before holding them over the flame pit and roasting them. But when Killalot finally releases them, Carbide is already there, and this attack is on the side of Coyote, and tears the entire side panel off.

Coyote is pretty much a wreck now, and definitely immobile, but that doesn’t stop Carbide from absolutely ruining them, bending in the jaw and ripping the panelling. By the end of it, Coyote is nothing more than a crumpled mess. Even the floor flipper gets in on the action, flipping Coyote through the air in its final moments. That’s one way to end I suppose.


So, how did Coyote do? Well the robot looked cool, and I did like the ingenious design with the techno steampunk chainsaw tail, but it just didn’t work. Coyote showed flashes of what it could do, such as when it grabbed Crackers in the second H2H, but it just wasn’t as effective as I would have loved it to be. But then again, it’s never easy sharing an arena with Apollo and Carbide.

Expectation v Result (4th-4th): 0
Techno steampunk horror robot from the future: +4
Made it through the melee… Somehow: +4
Crackers N Smashed: -2
Making an early exit via Apollo: -2
Jaws of steel: +1.5
Mitigating bonus point for having to face Carbide: +1
Carbide happened: -2

Robot Rating (Coyote): 4.5/10

Full Robot Review rankings from this series and the last series can be found here: )
Each review rating is hyperlinked to the article about that robot- simply click on the robot’s name to be navigated to their article.


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