Robot Review: Ironside 3 (S09E04)

Final one for today, here we go.

Ironside 3, the ferocious bar spinner that it is, could potentially count itself unlucky in the last series, after a controversial battle against Pulsar that led to them not getting a place in the heat final. Now they’re back for revenge, looking to battle it out with the best of the spinners (sans Carbide) to stake a real claim to the crown.

Ironside 3 itself hasn’t changed much aesthetically from last series, but the 35kg spinning bar is all new and ready to cause some serious damage. Spinning at 1,500rpm, there are actually two different, interchangeable bars, both of which are there to destroy. There’s also a new self righting mechanism which is apparently 4x faster, which may be useful if they get flipped over.

The first melee sees the return of their arch rival Pulsar, with fellow bar spinner Apex keeping up the count for the spinner club. Crushtacean are almost the odd one out, being armed with a pair of crushing jaws, but there we go.

And it’s Crushtacean that Ironside 3 go for first. With the crab bot just driving around fairly aimlessly, Ironside manage to catch the flat side panel of the domed robot, tearing a hole through it and breaking something inside, because the robot stops straight away. So a good start you would think.

With that done, and Pulsar finishing off Apex, that sends Ironside 3 through to the Head to Heads. There’s still time for Pulsar to slam straight into Ironside though, which manages to bend the bar such that it starts catching on the robot itself. Hmm…


And for Ironside, the first opponent they face in the Head to Heads is Pulsar. A gift from the Robot Wars gods. Now we can see if time has worked better for Ironside, so they can take revenge.

Ironside don’t have the smoothest of starts, first driving themselves into Shunt, before then taking a trip over the floor flipper. Fortunately they land on their wheels, so there’s no need to test out the new srimech. Once that’s out of their system, they actually start fighting Pulsar, who give them a hefty shove into the pit release button. Ironside get away, but the next hit between the two robots has a greater impact on Ironside, flinging them into Sir Killalot.

But then, Pulsar’s drum fails. So now it’s becoming a pushing contest, and Ironside are having something of a better line of attack, though Pulsar are still the primary aggressor. Meanwhile, Ironside take another trip over the floor flipper.

Then one side of Pulsar loses drive.

You’d think this would be great for Ironside 3. With Pulsar barely mobile, they can come in for the kill and take the 3 points for themselves. But with Pulsar pretty much moving in circles, the Ironside crew believed that their opponent was being counted out. But when Pulsar start gyro dancing and moving more outside of their circumference, the countdown seemingly stops, but Ironside don’t know this. So they ease off and cease attacking, and just wait. Eventually the clock counts down normally, and we’re off to a judges’ decision.

Cue much confusion. But, in the aftermath, Ironside 3 do get 2 valuable points. Supposedly Pulsar got the initial decision before Ironside complained about the technical glitch with the countdown clock, and were awarded the 2 points as compensation (Cheers James). Either way, they’re points.

Next up for Ironside 3 is a different challenge, that of Wyrm and their anti-spinner snow plough type scoop. At least Ironside aren’t going to be hit with another spinner in this fight.

Ironside, once they’ve spun up, naturally decide the first thing to attack is the scoop that’s supposedly going to stop them. What happens instead is the force of impact from the spinning bar takes the entire scoop off its hinges in one blow, and leaves Wyrm completely vulnerable to attack, be it from Shunt (Who ends up with them) or Ironside.

Wyrm's Scoop pt2
Part Stripping

Following the scoop, Wyrm next loses one of its wheels along with a protective side board, then loses the ability to drive, and then loses another wheel, thanks to Ironside. So I’d say that’s a job well done. Whilst Wyrm are in many pieces, Ironside are taking 3 points with them into the final round of battles.

Their final opponent in battle is Supernova, who themselves are looking to get into the Heat Final. It’s a case of winner takes all, so there’s no room for error. Supernova, though, have just come back from a mammoth collision with Pulsar than I’m sure caused a magnitude 7 earthquake. So for Ironside, this could be the moment.

After both robots take some time to charge their weapons to full speed, Ironside cautiously comes in for an attack. Exploiting Supernova’s lack of traction, they manage to come around the side of the robot and land a hit on the exposed wheel, immobilising it. Supernova are down to just one wheel.

This gives Ironside an advantage, but Supernova’s weapon is still spinning to full speed, so they have to be wary. That doesn’t stop them launching more attacks though, with the sole aim of destroying the wheels of Supernova. Hit after hit lands, and Supernova are very quickly becoming incapacitated. They held on for a while more than I thought they would, but one final hit knocks them dead.

Aim for the wheels
Killer Blow

And Ironside, well they’re into the heat final.

It’s probably no surprise, given all that’s happened, that Ironside 3 would meet Pulsar in the heat final. It had to be this way, didn’t it? Well now is the time for ultimate revenge, and there’s no better revenge than taking the grand final place from your rival.


The battle starts, and Ironside are looking to go in for the kill straight away. Pulsar have had reliability issues, and they’re vulnerable. Indeed, the first collision between the two robots stops Pulsar’s drum, and seems to affect their mobility too. It’s strike one to Ironside. But they’re taking their time, waiting, letting Pulsar come to them.

And then they finish them off.

Pulsar fairly effectively used their robot as a battering ram in the head to head, but this time when Ironside hit them, it causes too much internal damage to Pulsar, who stop in the middle of the arena. Ironside have won this.

But it wouldn’t be right if they didn’t come in for one final hit, just to make absolutely sure. They’ve finally defeated Pulsar.

So, how did Ironside 3 do? Well, getting into the grand final shows that they must have done something right. They started things off by taking out everyone’s favourite crab bot, Crushtacean, with one blow. But then they came across Pulsar, who gave them an incredibly tough time, even when only half working. Still, Ironside managed to reassert their dominance over Wyrm and Supernova, before the final showdown with Pulsar again. But this was a broken Pulsar, and Ironside were just a step above. A well deserved victory and a well deserved place in the grand final. And of course, they didn’t do half bad in the Grand Final either.

Expectation v Result (1st-1st): 0
Crab Killer: +2
Pulsar, always a thorn in their side: -1
Wyrm killer: +2
Extinguishing the flame of the Supernova : +2
Revenge, sweet revenge (And a place in the Grand Final too): +4

Robot Rating (Ironside 3): 9/10

Full Robot Review rankings from this series and the last series can be found here: )
Each review rating is hyperlinked to the article about that robot- simply click on the robot’s name to be navigated to their article.


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