Robot Wars S09E05 Part 3: All Out Victory

Can anybody beat Carbide? At the moment it doesn’t look like it. Even Champions Apollo have fallen to them, destroyed in the arena to a rather great extent. Sure, Apollo have looked good otherwise, but nobody looks as good as Carbide. But Carbide still have 2 Head to Heads left to contest, so let’s get right into it…

Head to Head 4: Carbide v Crackers N Smash

As a way to combat the inevitable threat that Carbide produce, Crackers N Smash are going into the fight without any weapons, seeing as they are usually the parts that stick out and so would take the brunt of the impact. That’s actually illegal and contravenes the active weapon rule, but we’ll just ignore that part I think. Let the clusterbots have their fun.

Your house robots are Shunt and Sir Killalot. Ah, that old pairing.

Crackers N Smash apparently have one objective, which is to survive as long as possible without getting hit by Carbide. Smash manages to keep this up for an amazing 3 seconds before driving straight into Carbide’s weapon. Well done guys. It doesn’t mean Carbide have it easy, because CNS are just too low for the hits to be full on. They are still hits though, and they do some damage. One of the good things about having no weapons is that both Crackers and Smash are now basically wedges, which means it’s very easy for them to get underneath Carbide.

Hitching a ride
Hitching a ride

Carbide ultimately uses the angled leverage being on top of one robot gives them to attack the other, until Smash decides it’s a good idea to drive onto the floor flipper, and is turned over. Now they’re not a wedge at all. Carbide continues with the attacks, and it’s creating quite the light show. Still, both Crackers and Smash are still working… Just. One of them even manages to activate the pit.

Crackers and Smash are still being annoying little robots to Carbide, getting in the way and generally acting likes wasps around sugar. Carbide keeps trying to swat them away, until fate intervenes and one giant hit on Smash sends them flying into the arena side wall, taking the entire panel off! How about that!

No arena No problem
No arena, no problem

Cease is of course called so that the arena can be repaired. But unfortunately, in that time, Crackers N Smash decide that they’ve had enough of being Carbide’s play toy and throw in the metaphorical towel. Dammit guys I wanted action. But this means Carbide take 3 points, and continue their rampage.

Head to Head 5: Carbide v Coyote

Carbide are the robot to beat, but can the pointless (As in, has 0 points) Coyote give them more of a battle than any of the other robots have so far? Or will Carbide keep up their war of devastation and put Coyote out of business for good?

Your house robots are Shunt and Sir Killalot, again, because originality was only a short lived ideal.

Coyote don’t actually go to jam up the blade straight away, which would have been the first tactic I thought of. Instead they let it get to speed, then charge at them with the jaws. Carbide hits the jaws head on, but the force of impact sends them flying wildly across the arena. They do land on their wheels though.

Everybody's favourite flying robot
Everybody’s favourite flying robot

As both robots regain their senses, Coyote manage to somehow stray into Sir Killalot’s CPZ, again. Carbide get the spinner up to speed and launch another attack, this time sending Coyote flying backwards. Killalot cleans up his corner but picking Coyote up and putting them onto the flame pit, as he so often does, leaving them for Carbide to come in for the kill. The attack rips an entire side panel off Coyote, who are, let’s face it, pretty much dead.

Warp Hit
Warp hit

The clock counts down to the end of Coyote, a robot that promised to be something different but never actually did very much. For Carbide though, their place in the grand finale is guaranteed, and they are looking all the better for it.

Head to Head 6: Apollo v Crackers N Smash

Once again, the final H2H gives us two robots desperately looking to get into the heat final. Apollo would always be considered favourites against the clusterbot, but with both teams on 3 points, whoever wins is going to take home the chance to face off against Carbide (again) and potentially get into the week 6 finale. Even if they can’t get past Carbide, there’s always the wildcard on offer.

Dead Metal and Sir Killalot are in the arena for the final Head to Head, let’s see who joins Carbide in the final!

The good thing about Clusterbots is you can do a split strategy with both of them. So whilst Smash hangs back, Crackers goes straight for Apollo. They tussle for a bit, before Crackers actually gets in underneath Apollo, something that’s entertaining but not really that useful for either robot. Apollo escapes, only to be chased around by the two mini bots of mayhem. Neither is actually doing any damage, they’re just being plain annoying. Smash activates the pit, which actually does activate the pit, and now we have a hazard in play. Is this battle going to be nervy, or can it explode into all out carnage?

Smash and Dead Metal briefly continue their budding bromance for a second as Smash drives straight into the claws. But as soon as Smash escapes, Apollo manages to get underneath and flip Crackers straight into Dead Metal’s saw! It’s a fun slow-motion replay, watching Dead Metal’s head wobble like that.


Apollo are now hitting their stride, and next take Smash and flip them half way across the arena. Both clusterbot robots are now overturned and vulnerable, and Apollo decides to play the pit release game and gets Rogue House Robots, allowing both Dead Metal and Sir Killalot to escape from their CPZs. Dead Metal starts chewing into Smash, whilst Killalot guns for Apollo. Eventually however, it’s Apollo going after Killalot, and then running into them. Cue very speedy reversing the hell out of there.

Red Mist
Red mist

The clock starts to count down as Apollo takes Smash for another ride. But despite this, the clusterbots are still going, still mobile, and it will go to a judges’ decision. No prizes for guessing who the decision goes in favour of, but still, for Crackers N Smash to make it as far as surviving 3 minutes with Apollo, that has to be applauded.

Heat Final: Apollo v Carbide

So this is it, the heat final. Old rivals face off yet again as Carbide and Apollo take to the arena. Apollo won the 8th wars but Carbide have come back with a vengeance, and hold the title of favourites in this battle. But anything can and probably will happen. One will be guaranteed a place in the week 6 final, and one will have to wait and hope for a wildcard.

That iconic pairing of Shunt and Sir Killalot once again guard the arena floor for the house robots. It’s heat final time, let’s get to it!

Apollo and Carbide both go straight for it, and Carbide naturally end up riding on top of Apollo, but the flip never comes. The bar glances at Apollo as they bounce around, causing more and more small inflictions. The sparks fly as Carbide keep up the attack, but Apollo aren’t backing down. Infact, half of the damage to Apollo is coming from them going at Carbide head on.

But the flipper will just not fire.

The two robots separate for a bit, allowing them to regain a little composure before the battle commences once again. They charge and Carbide again go straight up the wedge of Apollo, briefly balancing right on the end of the robot before coming off and gyrating on one wheel. Apollo try to take advantage, but if the flipper isn’t firing, what can you do? Either the flipper isn’t working or something has gone wrong, but it makes Apollo almost sitting ducks.

Balancing Act
World’s greatest balancing act

Apollo are certainly being the aggressor, even if the damage is all being caused by Apollo. Carbide can’t twist or turn without Apollo suddenly being there in their face. But the wear and tear is showing on Apollo the more Carbide chips away at them. Apollo cannot keep this up, not for much longer. Carbide get Apollo head on and start bashing the flipper in a continuous fashion, not letting up for a second. Apollo, well they have no response.

Face to face
Head to head

And this relentless assault has knocked something loose in Apollo, or done something catastrophic, because Apollo has stopped moving. I don’t’ think they would have taken that beating if they had been mobile, and this is definitely the end. Carbide have been totally and utterly dominant throughout this heat, and there is no better prize than the chance for complete revenge, and they surely must fancy their chances in the week 6 finale.

As for Apollo, well it’s the turn of the house robots for their revenge on Apollo. Sir K and Shunt gang up on the stricken robot and dump it on the flame pit, a fiery grave for what is a very beaten champion.

Funeral Pyre for Apollo
Funeral Pyre for Apollo

So after 5 weeks of destruction and domination, we know 5 of the 6 that will be contesting the 9th wars final. Aftershock, Eruption, Concussion, Ironside 3 and Carbide will be joined by one of the 5 runners up from the heats. Either Sabretooth, Cherub, Thor, Pulsar or Apollo will get a second chance at victory.

Only one can win. Only one can reign supreme.


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