Robot Wars S09E04 Part 3: It’s A Revolution

We’re almost coming to the end of the episode, and the way things are looking, most of the robots left are coming to the end of their lives. We just saw Pulsar and Supernova collide with enough force to create their own black hole (#SpaceJokes), and the damage to both robots has been immeasurable. Wyrm are also currently in pieces having faced off against Ironside 3, whilst Frostbite were in such a state of disrepair that they had to withdraw altogether. 

Regardless, there’s still the small matter of working out just who is going to get into this week’s grand final, and subsequently the week 6 grand finale. Wyrm have no chance, but they were here as a replacement anyway. Supernova have points to catch up but Pulsar and Ironside 3 are in the driving seat for now. But will it stay that way? Or will Supernova climb back up? Only one way to find out!

Head to Head 5: Wyrm v Pulsar

Unsurprisingly, Pulsar were touch and go to even be ready for this fight. I mean the damage caused by the collision with Supernova was immense. But working it is, and Wyrm they will face. Wyrm are now just battling for glory, and as a result of their previous fight, are now running on 2 wheels instead of 4. Weight saving on a robot that really didn’t need weight saved at all. Also, forwards has now become backwards, which is a surprisingly common occurrence in this series. Also, LOOK AT THAT HOW CUTE THAT SCOOP IS OwO (I have no idea what it means but it’s cute dammit).


Your house robots for this battle are Dead Metal and Matilda, because creativity finally exists! Let’s do this!

Pulsar allow themselves a little time to get themselves up to speed, but again Wyrm are not the fastest robot ever so it doesn’t matter much. Wyrm are making a charge, and the first attack only just misses Pulsar. Unfortunately, that then leads them into the clutches of Dead Metal, who doesn’t really want to let them go. Pulsar on the other hand have started smoking again, because Pulsar.

After Dead Metal let Wyrm go, Pulsar come back in on the attack, and ram the scoop. Now this time the scoop doesn’t actually come off, but what it does do is go underneath the robot. And with only the front 2 wheels- and those wheels now off the ground- Wyrm can’t actually move. Cue Dead Metal coming back at them, because Dead Metal.


So Wyrm are out, basically. And this also means Pulsar are definitely into the heat final. Dead Metal decides to keep the show going, pushing Wyrm onto the flame pit and letting them roast for a little while, because the robot isn’t going to be needed anymore so it might aswell burn. Pulsar then gives them the trademark middle finger salute from the self righter as the clock counts down. But as the clock goes to zero, Pulsar… Dies??? Not early enough to be considered immobile for the fight, but a worrying sign for the final.

But now the match has finished, and Wyrm are out. What better way to commemorate your robot’s foray into the arena than by throwing it into a skip at the end of the contest? 1, 2, 3, HEAVE!

Lord of the skips.PNG
Lord of the skips

Head to Head 6: Supernova v Ironside 3

So this battle, once again, is the deciding battle. Head to Head 6 always is. Whoever wins goes through, it’s as simple as that. Even if Supernova only win by judges’ decision, and the two robots tie on 5 points, Supernova would go through on head to head record. So all each robot needs is to win. Unfortunately, Supernova are pretty ruined after the fight with Pulsar, and Ironside 3 are also suffering problems. This could be a battle of reliability.

Your house robots are Shunt  and Sir Killalot. Back to the status quo I see. *Sighs Dramatically*

As is usual, both Supernova and Ironside leave each other alone so that they can get their robot up to speed, and then they begin a kind of stalking pattern, following the other around, looking to pounce. That moment comes as both robots go at each other, resulting in yet another fantastically powerful collision.

When spinners collide.PNG
When spinners collide

The hit seems to have stunned Supernova, and wither they’re dead or they’re struggling. Ironside get another small hit in before backing away to charge the weapon back up to speed. As it turns out, one of Supernova’s wheels have stopped working, meaning they can now only go in circles. Ironside are wary, making sure to avoid Supernova’s spinner, which is still working. So instead they go round the side, causing more damage to the wounded robot before them.

Supernova try to escape, but let’s face it, they can’t. Ironside get another hit in, and then another. Supernova are stranded and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Aim for the wheels.PNG
Aim for the wheels

At one point Ironside’s hit sends Supernova into Shunt’s CPZ. Shunt, not wanting to be on the end of the disc, keeps his distance, but still brings down the axe which does hit the disc, sending out a wave of sparks that illuminate the arena. Supernova’s chain has once again gone, and they are counted out. Ironside 3 are though!

Heat Final: Ironside 3 v Pulsar

Here we are, the final. Pulsar only just made it this far, having burnt through pretty much everything over the course of the episode and having to take drastic measures just to spin the wheels. Ironside 3 have also needed constant repairs, and this final could well be a battle of whoever can last the longest. But a final it is, and a winner we must have. 

Shunt and Killalot are your house robots, of course. Would we really have it any other way? (Of course we would). The robots are ready, let the heat final begin!

Pulsar and Ironside go for it, one last fight to the death. Pulsar’s drum isn’t actually spinning, which doesn’t help them, but Ironside don’t care. They go in for the attack, landing the first blow. Pulsar are stunned, but not dead. Ironside back off, waiting patiently, waiting for Pulsar to come to them. It’s when Ironside try to get round the side of Pulsar that they hit a killer blow. It sends Pulsar spinning to a stop in the middle of the arena, and they look pretty much done. 

HIt me baby.PNG
Hit me

Ironside wait a short while to see if Pulsar are really done, before launching another hit to make sure of victory. It’s a brutal end to Pulsar’s run.

Blazing Pulsar
Blazing Pulsar

Ironside watch as the countdown starts, but still feel the need to inflict blow after blow on Pulsar. It’s a sad way to see Pulsar go, but Ironside are showing themselves as real contenders. If they can get the robot repaired and running, they might well be able to put up a good fight in week 6.


Roll on week 5 and the battle everyone has been waiting for. Last series’ winner Apollo takes on runner up Carbide in the matchup everyone wants to see. 7pm Sunday, BBC2. Don’t be late.


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