Robot Wars S09E04 Part 2: Going Home In A Bin Bag

I was supposed to have written this earlier but I accidentally fell asleep. In reality, I’m still half asleep as I write this now. But hey, at least this time I’ve made sure I don’t screw up the title like I did yesterday.

So, having gotten through what was essentially a glorified spinner frenzy, we now have 4 robots with spinning weapons left. I suppose that was to be expected. There are a couple of horizontal bar spinners in the form of the somehow still working Frostbite and Ironside 3, which worked so well in the melee it started beating itself up towards the end. There’s also Pulsar which has a ridiculously powerful vertical drum spinner, and Supernova, which has harnessed the entire power of an actual supernova in their monster of a horizontal spinning disc

If that was going to point to anything, it was going to point to there being even more destruction in the head to heads. It’s time to delve deeper. Into round 2!

Head to Head 1: Supernova v Frostbite

Anyone who watched the initial melee would know that this is a complete mismatch. Frostbite were somehow left standing when Wyrm and High-5 weren’t, despite getting half of their robot torn to shreds by Supernova. Frostbite is made from polycarbonate, whereas Supernova is made from 100% pure, revolving death. The two do not mix if you are Frostbite.

Even putting additional armour onto Frostbite seems like it’s just delaying the inevitable. But hey, there’s only one way for us to find out. Your house robots for this battle are Shunt (Because we haven’t seen enough of him already) and Sir Killalot! Let’s begin!

Supernova get the disc up to speed very, very quickly, and all you can hear in the arena is the deathly hum that comes out of it. Frostbite are doing their best to avoid Supernova, even though that means a trip over the floor flipper. Supernova meanwhile are just patiently biding their time, watching Frostbite as it ambles around the arena fairly slowly. It lines up the best angle of attack and then, once ready, wait for Frostbite to pass them to pounce, hitting the bar of Frostbite and breaking the end of it off and scattering the pieces across the arena!

Frostbite try to recover, but Supernova come in again, this time from the side, and repeat the exact same move they pulled off in the melees, shredding the side panel of Frostbite and leaving all of the internals exposed. They’re not going to let up now, and this time come in from the back corner, causing even more damage to the already crippled robot.

Super Shred.PNG
Super Shred

Now not only are pieces of Frostbite littered across the arena floor, but the entire bar spinner (Or what was left of it) has also detached, and the internals are strewn everywhere. For Supernova though, they have their own problem, because their chain has started to come off their disc! This isn’t what they needed, especially with victory basically in the bag.

The Chain.PNG
The chain takes its revenge

As Frostbite are counted out, Supernova come back and hit them one more time for good measure, tearing out the entire back plate. They then leave them to their fate, but apparently that’s not good enough for the house robots, with Shunt coming over and putting the axe in them! Talk about unnecessary damage to an already defeated machine. It’s just added insult to injury to Frostbite, who are well and truly done. 3 points Supernova.

Head to Head 2: Ironside 3 v Pulsar

So next up we have something that may be considered a grudge match, if we still do those in Robot Wars. After Ironside 3 was narrowly and perhaps controversially defeated at the hands of Pulsar, they’ll be out looking for revenge, whilst Pulsar will want to take their upgraded model and show that they have what it takes. Who will come out victorious in the battle of bar spinner vs. drum spinner? Horizontal vs. Vertical? There’s only one way to find out, and that’s in the arena.

Your house robots for this battle are Shunt and Sir Killalot, because either Dead Metal and Matilda have gone on strike, or Shunt has found a way of paying off the producers. Either way, let’s get one with it.

Pulsar are very fast across the arena floor, chasing down Ironside straight away. Ironside, in attempting to get away, pretty much drive straight into Shunt, and then over the floor flipper, which gives them a bit of air time. They land back on their wheels though, so all is good from that point of view. Pulsar however comes across and slams into Ironside, in the process slamming them into the pit release button, which does allow the pit to descend. It’s turning into a real showdown.

However, all is not well in the Pulsar camp, as the robot begins to start venting smoke. Is something wrong? Ellis decides to spin the weapon down, but still does straight in on Ironside, connecting with their weapon at full force, but it is Ironside that go flying.

Side slam.PNG
Side slam

In trying to follow up attack on Ironside, Pulsar accidentally runs into, and then around, Sir Killalot, who seems as perplexed as everyone else. But, once free, Pulsar go back on Ironside, hitting them full on again and not letting the weapon get up to full speed. Pulsar is speedy Gonzalez and Ironside are having to retreat, and reverse. They at one point reverse over the flipper, again feeling its wrath. Somebody stop Ironside from going over to the flipper, please.

With neither robot really having a working weapon, it’s turning into something of a pushing match. Pulsar, the primary aggressors, almost overdo it at one point and drive into the pit, but just about avoid it. However, in their chase they accidentally drive into the arena side wall, and this seems to knock out one side of the robot’s drive. Cue Sir Killalot coming over to pick them up and toss them away like only Sir Killalot could, by first roasting them over the fire and then dropping them upside down. Fortunately, Pulsar have a self righter now, so that isn’t’ a problem.

What is a problem is that fact that going in circles means they spent an extended period of time on the flame pit, not to mention the couple of hits they sustain from Ironside. However, Ironside now have the problem where their bar is catching on the robot again. So both robots are in a little bit of trouble. Pulsar decide to spin up the drum, which leads to some rather elegant gyro dancing, which is what keeps them in the competition.

Gyro Dancing.PNG
Gyro dancing

Except, Ironside believe Pulsar are being counted out. So they think they’re going to win, whilst Pulsar believe they’re still in it. So whilst Pulsar are still dancing, Ironside have backed off completely. This is going to lead to a very interesting judges’ decision. And that’s exactly what it does. You see, Pulsar were originally going to be given the decision and the 2 points, but once they realised that Ironside were erroneously led to believe they had won, it was hardly fair to take their lack of aggression at the end as a factor against them. So, to make things fair, both robots are given 2 points. Weird? Yeah. Controversial? Definitely. But it was probably, in the end, fair.

Head to Head 3: Supernova v Pulsar

Both Supernova and Pulsar go into this fight with robots that needed repairs. Supernova of course had problems with their chain, and by extension other parts of their robot, whilst Pulsar have problems with their motors, something that needs to be fixed if they want to have a robot running on more than just one side.

Your house robots are, once again, Shunt and Sir Killalot. No creativity I swear. But either way, it’s time to get this one up and running!

Once again, both robots take some time to get their weapons up to speed, and all you can hear is the hum of the spinning disc and drum. But eventually both robots are ready for combat, and they go after each other. They swing around from each side so that the robots are angling for a head on collision, until…. KABOOM!!! They collide drum to disc, and with the forces exerted by each there is a literal explosion in the middle of the arena. Supernova are sent flying backwards with the velocity of a fighter jet and crash into the side wall. Pulsar have stopped, and Supernova’s disc is dead. 

Ultimate Annihilation.PNG
Ultimate annihilation

Pulsar suddenly jerks back to life, though the drum isn’t working for them either. But they still come over to Supernova and start bashing them into the wall, time after time, until Supernova finally stops moving altogether. Pulsar takes this moment to give Supernova a little wave with the self righter. Though when they turn the robot round and do it again, it almost looks as if they’re giving them the finger. Either way, Pulsar take home the 3 points.


Head to Head 4: Frostbite Wyrm v Ironside 3

Before we see the fact that Frostbite is doomed to all of eternity, it’s time for the little segment that springs up in the middle of the episode. This time Dr Lucy Rogers is showing Angela around the different materials you can use to build a robot, with the help of an angle grinder and a hammer. If you’re going to take anything away from this segment, it’s that HDPE is good at absorbing blows from an axe, and Hardox is good at absorbing blows from a spinning disc. Wood isn’t good for anything. That about sums it up.

But now back to business, i.e. the fact that Frostbite got torn into 50,000 separate pieces by Supernova and have no way of repairing the robot in time, and therefore have to forfeit. Was I surprised by this? No, I can’t say I was. Frostbite were well and truly obliterated. This means 3rd place robot from their heat, Wyrm, are back into the competition, and up to facing Ironside 3. Basically it’s out of the frying pan and into the fire as far as Wyrm go, but it does give them a chance to test out the “anti-spinner” scoop.

No guesses for who the house robots are. *Sigh*

Ironside start off as they always start off, waiting for the weapon to get up to speed. They don’t have to worry particularly much, because Wyrm are hardly fast across the arena floor. So Ironside can line themselves up nicely, before taking a pot shot at the anti-spinner scoop, which they take off in one clean hit. So much for being anti-spinner, that scoop probably couldn’t stop being knocked off by a fly.

Wyrm's Scoop.PNG
The exact moment before Wyrm’s scoop came flying off
Wyrm's Scoop pt2.PNG
The exact moment after Wyrm’s scoop came flying off

It’s kind of all downhill from there for Wyrm. They first reverse into Shunt, who brings the axe down and dislodges one of the wheels. You can see Wyrm basically pulling its 4th wheel along with it until Ironside 3 comes in and whacks it off altogether. 

Rogue Wheel.PNG
Rogue Wheel

“I guess my welding wasn’t up to scratch” Fhiannon says in the control booth, looking down at the several pieces of Wyrm scattered across the arena. Possibly the biggest understatement of the year, but the delivery of the line was perfect. What is it with the Scottish competitors and their amazing one liners this series?

Meanwhile Wyrm is still kind of moving, if only in circles. Very wide circles. Ironside come in again and give them another whack, one that this time kills Wyrm dead. The problem for Ironside is they’re now trapped on the pit. *Double sigh*
Fortunately they get themselves off in time to take yet another one of Wyrm’s wheels off. Highly unnecessary but highly entertaining. Wyrm are counted out, and Ironside 3 take the 3 points.

So that leaves the table looking very interesting. Forget Wyrm, they’re not going through. But Pulsar and Ironside both have 5 points, whilst Supernova are just behind on 3. So they’re not out of it yet either. But who will take their places in the heat final, and ultimately the week 6 finale? Find out tomorrow. Until then…

p.s. WordPress messed up with the font sizes again but idk how to change anything so unfortunately you get to look forward to mismatched text again lol.


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