Robot Review: Crank-E (S09E01)

Crank-E comes from the same team that became famous last year when their robot, Kill-E-Crank-E, dragged Razer into the pit in the first ever melee of the revived series, much to the horror of about 50% of the Robot Wars fan base. Unfortunately, that was the only good it did, because it spent the rest of the fight stuck in Razer’s grasp and pretty helpless/ineffective. It also looked like a drainpipe.
This time around Crank-E, having cut the “Kill-E” off the name, comes back with a much different, much improved robot. The new bot comes with a set of front facing buffer plates, to try and deflect damage, whilst the spinner has been increased to work at an amazing 6000rpm, which is a lot more than last time. So can Crank-E prove itself and show the improvements have made a difference? Can they get past the first round?

Crank-E appeared in the second of the melees, coming up against another couple of spinners in Sabretooth and Aftershock, with axebot TMHWK also in the arena. Certainly the right place for Crank- to test out the supposedly spinner-proof front buffers. Still, it was coming up against some very powerful machines.

And Crank-E tried to test the theory, going for powerful spinner Aftershock. Their first contact didn’t actually do too much, not until TMHWK came in and pushed them straight into the disc of Aftershock. Cue Crank-E flying up into the air via some wild aerobatics.


And Aftershock saw this as the perfect opportunity. Forget the front spinner buffers, Crank-E is now on its side and completely vulnerable, so Aftershock goes to town on it, smashing it across the arena. The crunch point happens when Crank-E gets caught by Shunt, and Aftershock can deliver a horrific blow to the armour which practically tears an entire panel loose. Not only that, but it renders Crank-E immobile. Straight up useless. But even with Crank-E dead, Aftershock can’t help but keep giving them back to Shunt to cause even more damage. Because who wouldn’t want to see some more carnage?

All Internal
All Internal
Pinned 2

But regardless of what fun the house robots are having with Crank-E, the fact is that they are dead and out of the competition. They went before TMHWK too, which puts them dead last for the melee and probably the heat. We didn’t even get to see the spinner working properly/at all.

So, how did Crank-E do? I mean if we’re being honest here it was pretty terrible. The spinner never got to show what it was capable of, the spinner proof buffer plates didn’t really do their job and Crank-E was gone in a matter of seconds after the first blow. It was hardly the fame grabbing set of exploits it had last year. The robot at least worked for a little while, but it was always going to struggle in this heat.

Expectation v Result (Out in Rd1-Out in Rd1): 0
Utterly humiliated by Aftershock: -1
Well I suppose the robot worked at least: 1

Robot Rating (Crank-E): 0/10

Full Robot Review rankings from this series and the last series can be found here:
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Each review rating is hyperlinked to the article about that robot- simply click on the robot’s name to be navigated to their article.


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