Thanks to my man James, I’ve now been directed to a new set of YouTube videos that aren’t in 240p video quality! Which mean now I can actually get some half decent screengrabs in. Also, my print screen button has started working again, so more power to me.
We now know the 4 robots through to the heat semi finals; Dantomkia, Scorpion, IG-88 and King B Powerworks. Dantomkia will face Scorpion whilst IG-88 take on the might of King B. But first, we have our special battle for the episode. And this time round we have a battle of the furious spinners- including our old friends Infernal Contraption, who competed (and failed) in 2016. Also joining them are Shredder Evolution, a robot with not one but two spinning discs, and Barber-Ous 2’N A Bit, which looks like a rotating horizontal pole. Also, what a name.
Sir Killalot and Mr Psycho, the two heavyweights of the house robot army, are in the arena to bring some fun into battle. So, shall we begin?
If you said yes, then I’m afraid you may be a little disappointed. Despite all of the robots going towards each other in attack positions, nothing much really happened. I mean, people banged into each other and that was about it, for the first few seconds anyway. Fortunately, things started to happen after the first phase had elapsed. Barber-Ous grappled with Infernal Contraption, landing a hit themselves. Then Shredder got involved, in the process shredding something off someone. It’s destruction regardless. Beautiful destruction.
Shredder kept going at Infernal Contraption, which was having enough trouble managing to actually control itself, let alone put up a good fight, but Barber-Ous saw that as the perfect opportunity to hit Shredder, sending them briefly into the air. We have action!
Shredder and Barber-Ous then go off to have a bit of a one on one, seeing as Infernal Contraption has given up the will to live. This ends in Shredder activating the pit, very almost driving into it, and then managing to drive away unscathed. Barber-Ous meanwhile has decided to check up on its old friends Infernal Contraption. This leads to an altercation with psycho Psycho himself, and I tell you what, that hammer blow only just missed.
Second time round, they’re not so lucky. The hammer lands smack bang in the middle of the rotating barber’s pole. There’s a very visible dent.
Psycho then decides to be a complete and utter arse and gently manoeuvres Barber-Ous into the pit, despite not really being in the vicinity of his CPZ anymore. But then this is the 7th wars, so I’m fairly sure Mentorn have stopped giving a shit about the rules.
So now there’s two: Infernal Contraption, which only has one functional wheel, or Shredder Evolution, which doesn’t have any functional spinning discs. So not much really happens. Infact, so little happens that the Refbot gets bored and counts Infernal Contraption out, handing the win to Shredder Evolution. Cue Mr Psycho and the grabbing claw, and now Infernal Contraption are in trouble. First they’re roasted over an open fire, then they’re dumped down the pit. A fitting end perhaps for a robot that did sod all throughout.
So, back to the main competition. Our first of the one on ones comes in the form of 5th seed Dantomkia facing off against Scorpion, which didn’t exactly do much in their heat melee except survive. I suppose that is the aim of the game. Dantomkia go in as big favourites, but in Robot Wars there are no guarantees.
Shunt and Bash are your house robots. Let’s get the battle underway!
Dantomkia starts the fight by trying to get around Scorpion, to avoid the spinning disc and attack from the side. This, however, does not work. Scorpion manages to catch them, tearing a nice gash into the side armour. It’s nothing fatal, but it’s a start. And then again, another hit, but again with the damage limited to being entirely cosmetic. And this has all worked in Dantomkia’s favour, because now they have the perfect angle to get underneath Scorpion, which they do, before ramming them into the side wall and attempting to flip them over. It doesn’t quite work, but now Dantomkia are on a charge.
With Scorpion now stuck on the arena side wall, they’re helpless as Dantomkia come in and line up an attack that could finish them off. They’re flipped, and it looks like they’re sailing out of the arena… But no! They stand up, balancing on the edge of the side wall, then crash back down to the arena floor!
Despite this, Scorpion are still trapped between the arena side wall and Dantomkia, who give it another go, but to no avail. The blade of Scorpion is spinning, but it’s also completely stuck. It’s not going anywhere. Eventually they have to enlist the help of Shunt to actually get them free. Now free, they go about causing more damage to Dantomkia, who are moving in. This fight is not done yet.
Dantomkia manage to regain some assertiveness over the fight, taking Scorpion away from Shunt’s CPZ and powering them over to a different arena side wall, where they once again flip them, and once again Scorpion get stuck on the side wall! Now Dantomkia could probably leave them, and Scorpion would get counted out… No, wait. Sgt Bash. Aaand Scorpion are free again.
Now Dantomkia really aren’t putting up with any shit. After a brief attack by Scorpion that doesn’t do much, Dantomkia manage to get them into Shunts CPZ. After a bit of a scrap with Shunt, Dantomkia get Scorpion once again against the arena side wall. But this time, this time there is no mistake. They lift them up and send them flying over the barrier, and out of the arena altogether! Game over!
So now we know Dantomkia is going through to the heat final, but who will join them? Will it be IG-88, or will it be King B Powerworks? We’ll just have to find out next time.