Robot Review: Beast (S08E05)

Beast is a flipper, pure and simple. That’s basically all it is, with not much in the way of protective body armour. It’s basically the opposite to Chompalot, which had so much body armour bits would fall off without touching it. Beast on the other hand is made of scaffolding. But you shouldn’t be fooled by the design, because the robot itself packs quite a punch. I’ve watched it in live shows before, and it is quite a handful with one powerful flipper. 

Beast of course used to be 8645T, though the name was still pronounced the same. That version appeared in the 5th and 7th wars, though you can’t ever say it was exactly successful. It also never made the 6th wars, apparently because its axe damaged the arena floor in a qualifier so it was disqualified. Lmao.

Anyway, we’re now past that and Beast has changed a lot. It looks more competitive and certainly seemed to have a chance. It’s a shame there was no rematch with Thermidor 2 though. Instead, Beast would fight Crazy Coupe 88, Infernal Contraption and Gabriel in the opening melee.

Beast started off the fight by going after Infernal Contraption, but missed the flip completely. Maybe not the start they were exactly hoping for, but they were the aggressor. And they continue to be aggressive, next going for Gabriel. The problem is that Gabriel are so tall on their very thin wheels, there isn’t much of Gabriel to flip. So they tried to flip Gabriel, and kind of missed again. With 2 robots attacked and missed, would it be 3rd time lucky when Beast went after Crazy Coupe 88?


I flips you.png
I flips you

CC88 then decide to go and die in the claws of Dead Metal, and with it eliminate Beast’s best chance of getting more flips away. I mean they do go after Gabriel and Infernal Contraption, but both of those robots are so awkward in design that it’s almost impossible to flip either one of them. Beast tries, but fails.
In the end, Beast didn’t even need the flipper to end Infernal Contraption, instead just allowing the tin can on wheels to bounce off their wedge and drive itself down into the pit. Beast going through.

So, onto the H2Hs, where Beast would first come up against Ironside 3. With Ironside 3 being a rather vicious bar spinner, you could think that this is where having just scaffolding for armour would be an inconvenience. But, credit to Beast, they held up well in the early exchanges, deflecting the blows nicely. There weren’t doing much themselves, it has to be said, it seemed much more of a defensive effort.
Indeed, Ironside 3 kept coming, launching attack after attack on Beast, bouncing shots off left, right and centre. Eventually, one of them seemed to do damage, and Beast started moving in circles. At one point Ironside 3 took a ride on Beast’s flipper whilst attempting an attack, but Beast were pretty much finished at this point. The flipper didn’t fire.

Taking a ride.png
Taking a ride

As Ironside wait patiently, almost stalking its prey, it’s clear to see that one of Beast’s wheel are completely destroyed. It’s no surprise they have the movement of a drunk python. And it’s all thanks to one very big hit from Ironside 3

Strike point.png
Strike point

So that’s that for that H2H (Too many ‘that’s in that sentence, dear god). Next up is Pulsar! It would have been Chompalot probably, except for the fact Chompalot is now burning on a scrapheap. So instead its YET ANOTHER SPINNER.

Beast actually started this fight well, going all in at Pulsar. Unfortunately, like most of their attacks, Beast accomplished nothing and really just bounced straight off. They kept going though, and at one point even attempted to get a flip away. Unfortunately, they missed and this allowed Pulsar to get underneath then, shooting a few sparks off Beast’s underside. Still, it seemed like no harm was done.

That’s a lie. Plenty of harm was done. With Beast now not mobile in any shape or form, Pulsar get underneath and take a few more pot shots.

Kill shot

With that, Beast were finished. Another 0 points, and that meant that they would be exiting the competition at the H2Hs, whatever happened in their next fight. It was the end of the road.

Finally Beast came up against Gabriel. After taking a battering from Pulsar, Beast had really nothing to lose going into the final fight.
However, straight out of the blocks, Beast seemed sluggish. Gabriel came straight on the charge and started smashing them into the next century. Blow after blow came down, and Beast had no counter attack. Infact, they were barely moving. Possibly the most one sided contest ever.

Robot Limbo.png
Robot limbo

With Beast practically immobilised after the first 5 seconds, Gabriel take the time to activate the pit release, lightly roast themselves on the flame pit and then go back to pounding their opponents. This at least seems to suddenly allow Beast to move in circles again, which is something of an improvement. They’re still basically worthless in this fight though. Gabriel then stop attacking them, leaving them to run around in circles by themselves, mainly because they’ve taken pity on the failing robot.

I knight you Sir Beast.png
I knight you Sir Beast

Pity, as it turns out, wins you nothing. Beast finish the H2Hs on a grand total of 0 points and in last place. Ah.

So how did Beast do? Not great, it has to be said. Dealt well with Infernal Contraption and Crazy Coupe 88 in the initial heat, but got their ass handed to them by Ironside 3 in the first H2H. They then got it handed to them by Pulsar… And then by Gabriel. Beast showed promise, it was an interesting design but it had a few fatal flaws (Mainly reliability) which stopped it showcasing that. A shame really.

Robot Rating (Beast): 5/10


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