Robot Review: Crazy Coupe 88 (S08E05)

My laptop is being a lil bitch right now and going incredibly slowly, but I will persevere through to get this done, no matter how infuriating it is.

Crazy Coupe 88 has a name that sounds as if it’s come straight out of Wacky Racers- which is half true- and the robot looks like it might well have too. It’s slow at only 8mph (So maybe it’s not the best comparison), but does feature two spinning blades- a vertical one at the back and a horizontal one at the front- and so looked like it could be menacing. The horizontal front spinning bar runs at 2450rpm, comparable to Carbide in speed if not in size, and the robot can also supposedly run both ways up. So it certainly looked as if it could have a chance.

It came up against Beast, Gabriel and Infernal Contraption in its heat, and so could be forgiven for believing it had a half decent chance. Invertability rendered Beast less of a threat, they could attack Gabriel’s giant wheels, and Infernal Contraption could be outmanoeuvred, because it was Infernal Contraption.

CC88 started of the fight by going straight for Gabriel… who brought their sword crashing down on top of them almost immediately. Admittedly, that’s probably not the start that Crazy Coupe wanted, though they did manage to get round and have a little nibble at Gabriel’s wheels. Didn’t really do anything, but they were being aggressive. Gabriel then drove over them- yes, over them- and that was the end of that attack.
Crazy Coupe 88 then followed the other competitors round for a bit, before tangling with Beast. After doing basically nothing, Beast sent them sprawling across the arena floor.

Fear the Beast

After a brief interlude where I don’t exactly know what was going on, CC88 found themselves in Dead Metal’s CPZ. I mean I don’t exactly need to know what went on to know that going into said CPZ is a bad idea, unless your name is Apollo. Either way, Dead Metal’s attack was fatal. It was very fatal. Dead Metal got to have a bit of fun with the Crazy Coupe, but that was really the end of the road.

So, how did CC88 do? Pretty fucking awful, if I’m honest. It showed good signs of aggression, trying to attack Gabriel and Beast, but came off worse each time. The spinning bar was ineffective, Beast tossed them around a lot and one strike from Dead Metal was enough to KO them instantly. But they did try, I will give them that. Only that.

Robot Rating (Crazy Coupe 88): 2.5/10


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