Robot Review: Sweeney Todd (S08E04)

My internet is actually working, so I’m making use of it by writing about 4 of these today. I’m not publishing all 4 right now, but you hopefully you get the point. I can say all this as Sweeney Todd is the 4th review I’ve written today, so I already know what’ll happen in the other 3. As an aside, I’m amazed my laptop hasn’t caught fire because of how long I’ve had it on today.

So, Sweeney Todd. If you ever needed a Robot Wars example of ‘box on wheels’, this is likely the best candidate you’re ever going to find. It is literally a box on wheels. Sure, there are a couple of angle grinders attached to the front, but anybody that watched the old Robot Wars will know that angle grinders are the most useless weapon you could attach. Also, Sweeney Todd only weighs 45KG… What the ever loving *Redacted*

Sweeney Todd found themselves in a heat alongside Apollo, Kan-Opener and PP3D, all robots that would probably tear them apart one way or another. It was certainly going to be a tough task. And so onto the battle!…

Except there’s a bit of a problem. You see, Sweeney Todd didn’t actually do anything for the first 2/3rds of the entire fight. It literally sat back and watched the other 3 go at it for the first 2 minutes. When Sweeney Todd do finally see some action, it’s via PP3D’s disc, which actually tears off one of the angle grinders. 

Grind this.png
“You’ll never grind me now!”

Then there’s another little interlude where Sweeney Todd chills in the corner before PP3D comes back at them, does a little break-dance with the unbalanced disc and then tears them a new asshole. And then they hit them once more, basically confirming that Sweeney Todd has no viable defence mechanism against other robots. Apollo decides it wants to get involves, and it kinda becomes a bit like pinball. Apollo tosses them like a pancake to PP3D, who then break something else on the robot and send them flying back to Apollo, and repeat about 3 times before cease is finally called.

You’ll be unsurprised to know Sweeney Todd didn’t make it through.

So how did Sweeney Todd do? Well, erm, they didn’t actually ‘do’ anything. At all. But they did at least survive for a respectable period of time, certainly more than, say, Overdozer… Or Orte. Not that it actually counts for anything, because they still lost.

Robot Rating (Sweeney Todd): 1.5/10


2 thoughts on “Robot Review: Sweeney Todd (S08E04)

  1. Fairly generous Id say mate. Reading these as you post them and on the whole it is quite surprising how many that went out in the first round actually didnt do much. Im hoping that because they didnt get much time to design and build and theyll be better when the next series comes around, probably on Channel 4

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha I kinda realised after I did the first week’s robots that giving them scores like this was going to put some robots in weird positions because I’d be comparing them to scores other robots got. Like I gave Sweeney Todd 1.5/10 simply because it managed to survive longer than Overdozer/Orte/Chimera but did just as little. It’s the same score as Disconstructor, which survived less time but at least tried to attack TAN.

      And I agree, 5 weeks is not long to build/upgrade a robot to a high standard. The number of standby robots that had to fill in kinda proves that (I found out yesterday that TR2 was supposedly initially a standby robot. I know Mention didnt want too many flippers because they were worried it would be perceived as boring, but Jesus Christ. TR2 were the reigning heavyweight champions!)


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