Robot Review: Orte (S08E03)

You’ll notice that this is the second of these I’m posting today. I realised whilst writing the Overdozer review that week 3’s battles are only on iPlayer until Tuesday, which means I’m 100 different shades of fucked if I don’t get them done by then. I’ve actually written another of these, but there’s no point having three articles in one day, that’s overkill. You get that one tomorrow.

So, Orte. This robot came from the legendary Ian Watts, who of course built Bigger Brother during Robot Wars’ original run. Although if you were new to Robot Wars this year you might not have known that, thanks to Mentorn’s weird blanket ban on references to the old series (On the show at least. The website actually does reference it). And if you didn’t know that, Bigger Brother was a successful robot, so Orte had a lot to live up to.

It failed. It failed so, so badly.

I’m pinning Orte’s failure on the lack of Joe or Ellie Watts in the team, because team Bigger Brother just isn’t the same without them. Or if you’re really superstitious, you can blame Philippa Forrester, because team Bigger Brother have never made it out of the heats when she hasn’t been pit reporter. Doesn’t bode well for any future endeavours of Orte, does it?

I haven’t even talked about the actual battle yet. Orte was unfortunate to be put in week 3’s battle of death, alongside Supernova, TR2 and Big Nipper. But still, Orte looked a threat. Now I made jokes about Overdozer lasting 23 seconds, but do you want to know how long Orte lasted? 5. 5 SECONDS.

5 seconds on the clock.png
The death of Orte. Note how much is left of the 3 minute long battle and make your own conclusions.


Orte started reasonably enough, attempting to rush Supernova- Infact, Orte were fastest out of the starting blocks, so had a good run at them. They shared a glancing blow, but nothing damaging to either robot. As Orte steadied themselves, however, Big Nipper got behind them and pushed them into Supernova’s disc, which kung-fu kicked them in the face, shredded one of the armour panels and knocked out the link, as well as sending them across the floor and into the arena sidewall.

That’s it. That’s literally Orte’s entire battle. 5 SECONDS.

The thing is, Orte is not a bad robot. It just came up against a combination of Supernova’s ridiculously powerful spinning disc and the everlasting Robot Wars problem of removable links that remove themselves in the wrong moments. It was rotten luck, and I’m not harsh enough to score it like Overdozer, who just had a hopeless robot in general. They deserve some credit for the robot it could have been.

Robot Rating (Orte): 1/10

Oh, and before I end this article, I’d like to point out this, which came from Orte’s profile on the official Robot Wars website. Way to shoot yourselves in the foot guys.

Orte weakness
Ah… Erm… Yeah



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