Robot Review Standings: Weeks 1 & 2

The week 6 grand finale is tonight (It’s 10 past 6 right now, and although I will likely finish this after the episode has aired, I can’t be bothered to change the intro), and I am both excited for the spectacle that lies before us and slightly sad that it’s going to be over. Here’s hoping for a 9th wars (I will call it that dammit) next year.

Despite the fact we’re in week 6, my Robot Reviews are only in week 2, because I actually have to do stuff other than this blog and also writing the episode recap takes 3 days in itself. They’ll all be done eventually, I promise.
I actually made a page detailing the rankings from my Robot Reviews, but because I don’t know how to WordPress, I don’t think there’s a link to that page (Or my ‘about’ page for that matter). Feel free to correct me if there actually is one for everyone to use. However, going with the presumed knowledge there isn’t. I thought it would be nice to do a little recap of the standings so far. So here goes:

16. Chimera (S08E02)- 0.5/10

One Wheel Chimera

Let’s face it, Chimera was a truly dreadful robot. It got taken apart in about by M.R Speed Squared’s first hit, and then lost a wheel with the second. All the while doing absolutely nothing to try and help itself.

15. Disconstructor (S08E02)- 1.5/10


Disconstructor, in its entire fight, managed a grand total of launching themselves off the floor flipper and being pushed down the pit by Shockwave. They also bounced off Tough As Nails a couple of times, just to look like they were actually doing something.

14. Bonk (S08E01)- 2/10


Let’s face it, Bonk fired the axe once before just wandering around the arena for a bit, hoping nobody would destroy them. Then Behemoth rolled them over and that was curtains. At least they ran around more than Disconstructor.

13. Foxic (S08E02)- 2.5/10


Foxic, believe it or not, actually got through to the second round of week 2. The problem is, they got there purely because M.R Speed Squared didn’t decide to demolish them. When they finally did fight MRS^2, it was possibly the worst fight in Robot Wars history.

12. Draven (S08E02)- 3/10


You’ll realise there’s a pattern here- not many Ep2 robots did very well. Draven at least attempted to do something, but unfortunately the crushing beak didn’t work, so they just ended up kinda pushing Foxic around before dying.

11. Razer (S08E01)- 3/10


Ah Razer. So much was expected of the former UK and World Champions. They looked like they would be going through the first round too, until they ended up driving themselves down the pit (With the help of a robotic drainpipe)

10.- Tough As Nails (S08E02)- 4/10


Tough As Nails came in as the only foreign entry, and promptly exited at the first round. Despite holding off the rampaging Thor for large periods of the fight, they were eventually ended by the nightmare in red, who smashed out the removable link. Game Over.

9- M.R Speed Squared (S08E02)- 4/10


M.R Speed Squared looked like it could be a very good robot. In their first heat alone they took apart both Chimera and Draven. Unfortunately, once in the Head to Heads, they were pretty shite. They probably shouldn’t have even beat Foxic, and that’s saying something.

8- Kill-E-Crank-E (S08E01)- 5/10

Kill E Crank E

Kill-E-Crank-E don’t even deserve a 5/10. They spent the entire fight being dragged around by Razer, having done no damage whatsoever. Probably a 3/10 at most. But, the thing is, they dragged Razer into the pit with them. Worth the extra points for that alone.

7- The General (S08E01)- 6/10


The General probably don’t deserve a 6/10 either, but it was the first heat and I didn’t really know how I was structuring the points system for this. In reality they should have probably got 4.5/10. I mean, they lost a wheel.

6- Behemoth (S08E01)- 6.5/10


Heat finalists but not exactly the most impressive performance. Defeated Terrorhurtz but were being dominated beforehand. Struggled to defeat Nuts and were torn apart by Carbide twice. Still, got to the heat final.

5- Terrorhurtz (S08E01)- 7/10


Very unlucky not to make the heat final. Defeated eventual winners Carbide despite the axe not working and beat Nuts on a judges’ decision despite getting Nuts’ ring stuck underneath them. Were dominant vs. Behemoth before being flipped.

4- Nuts (S08E01)- 7/10

Nuts minus protective ring

Everyone’s favourite joke robot. Expected to go out in the first round but got through by virtue of Razer’s demise. Stood up to both Behemoth and Terrorhurtz fairly well, but were utterly eviscerated by Carbide in a very entertaining match.

3- Shockwave (S08E02)- 8/10


Winners of week 2. Managed to dispatch of Disconstructor with ease in the heat, before dominant performances vs. M.R Speed Squared and Foxic. Got beaten badly by Thor (Though it went to the judges), but got revenge in the final.

2- Thor (S08E02)- 8/10


Very unlucky runners up, Thor dominated everyone up to the final. Took out TAN in original heat, before putting holes in M.R Speed Squared and Foxic. Destroyed Shockwave’s scoop in H2H, but something broke in the final, leading to unlucky defeat.

1- Carbide (S08E01)- 8.5/10


Most impressive robot from the first 2 weeks, in my opinion. Took off The General’s wheel in the first heat, whilst they sent Nuts back to the pits in 5 different people. Beat Behemoth twice, but the robot is not unbeatable, as shown by Terrorhurtz bout.


As a side note, don’t ask me why Photon Storm is the featured image. It just is.


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