Robot Wars S08E05 Part 3: From The Ashes

If you’re wondering why you’re getting part 3 today and not yesterday, it’s because yesterday I had no internet on my laptop for basically the entire day. So now you get it this morning instead.

So here we are, the final heat of the series. The big question looming over the rest of the head to heads was whether Pulsar, who had been knocked out in round 1 then reinstated following Chompalot’s fiery demise, could make up the ground and qualify for the week 5 finale. Could they fix the reliability issues that had plagued them and make it all the way?

Head to Head 4: Pulsar v Beast

So here we are, the head to head bow of the mighty Pulsar. Pulsar is a robot designed and created by 19 year old Ellis Ware, who is a bit of a engineering genius. I mean, I’m 20 years old and sat here writing sarcastic recaps of episodes whilst he’s close to the same age as me and is actually competing. He self taught himself to use all of the equipment too. Talk about that drum spinner though- 9000rpm is ridiculously powerful. It’s the fastest spinning weapon ever on Robot Wars, and even when Pulsar wasn’t working, it pretty much fucked up Chompalot’s front end. If it can get working, it could easily be immense. That’s if it starts working properly at all.

Shunt and Sir Killalot are the house robots on show for this particular bout, and Pulsar’s return to the competition is ready to begin!
This is a win or die match for both teams. Lose and they’re out. So when the bout does start, Beast charges straight for Pulsar, but in the end just goes straight over it. Pulsar, meanwhile, is doing nothing. Again. Beast try to get a flip in on Pulsar, but miss completely- Pulsar’s ground clearance is too low for them to get in underneath. This gives Pulsar an opportunity, but even though they get under Beast, who have bounced up onto their ass because of the flip, the drum doesn’t do much in the way of damage as it isn’t u to full speed. That soon changes; You can hear the siren scream as Pulsar’s weapon builds in power, but there’s just one problem for them too.

They can’t get under Beast either.

The wedge shape of Pulsar is not enough to get underneath the scaffolding exterior of Beast. Beast it seems are having problems with the drive, but for the moment Pulsar can’t do anything in the way of damage. Then they target Beast’s wheels- the same area targeted by Ironside 3- and send them riding up into the air.




And that’s it. That’s literally it. Beast is dead. They didn’t have much drive before Pulsar hit them, but afterwards they had a grand total of zero movement whatsoever. And so that means Pulsar take the 3 points, whilst Beast are going to be out of the competition, regardless of the result of their next fight. Still, it couldn’t have been just a bit more entertaining.  I was expecting more from Pulsar’s drum spinner too.

Head to Head 5: Gabriel v Beast

So we already know that Beast are out. Gabriel, however, have a very real chance of getting through. If they can win outright, then they’ll be through regardless. Win via a judges’ decision, and things get a little more complicated. I say a little, basically they would need Ironside 3 to defeat Pulsar in the final H2H by any means necessary, because if Pulsar won outright, then they’d go through along with Ironside. If Gabriel won via judges’ decision and Pulsar won via a judges’ decision, then things would get even more complex, as 3 teams would be on 5 points. Don’t worry, it all works out in the end.

Your house robots are Sir Killalot and Dead Metal, and we’re ready to begin!
Both robots instantly go for each other, but thanks to Gabriel’s massive ground clearance, Beast quite literally just drives straight under it. Gabriel then swings straight back and crashes a blow down on Beast. Then they hit them again and again. It’s a continual onslaught of epic proportions, and even though Gabriel isn’t doing any visible damage, it seems to at least be doing something, because Beast is not moving very easily. Infact, Beast is moving very little at all. Gabriel, after raining down about a dozen blows, decides to move away, seeing if Beast has much mobility left. It doesn’t.

Then comes an interesting part. With Gabriel see-sawing away from the main picture, Craig asks the Beast boys if they want Gabriel to come back in and start hitting them, to which they say yes. So Gabriel do come back in, and strikes down with a couple more blows of the sword.


Gabriel v Beast.png
I knight thee Sir Beast of Robot Wars


Craig, however, decides eventually that enough is enough, and orders the team to stop the assault so that Beast isn’t damaged any further. Whilst that makes him a very nice guy, Gabriel really need a knockout to get all 3 points and go through. With beast still spinning round in circles, is that counted as mobile enough to warrant taking it to a judges’ decision? Either way, the cease has been called and the battle has ended. Dead Metal, however, is angry enough at Gabriel’s reluctance to attack Beast that he goes in and takes a few pieces out of the robot himself. DEAD METAL HAS HIS REVENGE!


Dead Metal's afters.png
“I’ve had enough of this shit”


So much for Gabriel backing off so that Beast doesn’t get damaged, eh?
Anyway, the battle goes to the judges. And, after reviewing the footage, they decide that Beast was immobile for more than 10 seconds, and hence was out. So Gabriel’s risk paid off, because they still get to go back to the pits with 3 points. Beast, however, are going home with nothing. It’s one of the more controversial decisions of the series, but one that sends Gabriel into the heat final

Head to Head 6: Pulsar v Ironside 3

So, this is the fight to determine who joins Gabriel in the final. Could it be Pulsar, who have come back to storm through the field? Or would it be Ironside 3, who have been so impressive so far? Ironside go in with a 2 point advantage, but any form of Pulsar win would be enough to put them through. So it really was all to play for.

Having been sent to the naught step for attacking Beast out of turn, Dead Metal is instead replaced by Shunt, who once again partners Sir Killalot.
And we’re off! Ironside, trying to get the horizontal spinning bar up to speed, start by putting distance between themselves and Pulsar, who are trying to chase them down. Eventually Ironside gets up to speed, and heads straight for their opponent. As Ellis predicted, the collision is immense, going up in a flash of sparks and sending Ironside flying through the air.


Collision Course 2.png
Collision Course


Ironside 3 now have a problem, because they’re the wrong way up and therefore unable to do anything. They do have a self-righting mechanism, but it is such a slow mechanism that Pulsar can come in again and cause some damage. Pulsar, with the control, push Ironside into Sir Killalot’s CPZ, handing over control to the house robot if you will. Killalot, however, manages to mess this one right up. Ironside are immobile- there is no doubt in my mind that they are immobile- because the srimech is all the way up, but Ironside are still upside down and not moving. But when Sir Killalot came in, he picked Ironside up and dropped them onto their wheels, meaning that they were now mobile again. Cease was never called, so Ironside take that as proof that the battle is still going on.

Pulsar, realising they may have to still keep fighting, attack Ironside again with the drum. Ironside’s weapon isn’t exactly working and the srimech is now in a semi-permanent upright position, but it’s still going. Realising they don’t really have a weapon, Ironside activate the pit release button, and then go back after Pulsar, who are now stranded in the middle of the arena, going round in circles. Ironside get behind Pulsar and start to push, but now Pulsar have stopped completely. So Ironside get to work, and eventually get Pulsar down into the pit- along with themselves, just for good measure.

Now this is where it gets more controversial. Ironside think they’ve won because they put Pulsar in the pit, but Pulsar believe Ironside was immobilised beforehand in the earlier part of the battle. I agree with Pulsar, as do the judges, but it’s one of those things that could go either way because cease was never called. It’s almost akin to Supernova vs. Storm 2 in the Robot Wars World Championships back at the end of the 7th wars. (You can watch the fight here-  and draw the parallels for yourself).

So the decision to give the 3 points to Pulsar mean that they are going through along with Gabriel to the week 5 finale. Now, for the first time two robots who had not fought each other before are going head to head in the final. It’s going to get interesting…

Week 5 Finale: Gabriel v Pulsar

So here we are, the week 5 finale. The final winners place is up for grabs, between the heavyweight sword action of Gabriel and the fierce drum spinner of Pulsar. Both finished the H2Hs on 6 points and neither has fought each other before. For the final time tonight (Dear God, I’m picking up Dara’s phrases), your house robots are Sir Killalot and Dead Metal.
And we’re off! Once again, Pulsar starts very slowly, whereas Gabriel is after them straight away, colliding with the outside wedge, bouncing off and doing a little dance before coming back to rest on its wheels.


Irregular motion.png
Regular motion? Nah


Pulsar are not a big robot, so Gabriel doesn’t have much of a target to aim for, and it’s showing. With each attack, Pulsar are able to dodge and weave, lining themselves up to try and crash into Gabriel’s wheels- because that’s the only thing they have a hope in hell of hitting. And soon enough they do, sending Gabriel flying and liberating them from one piece of tread.


Kamikaze Pulsar.png
Kamikaze Pulsar


Gabriel come back at Pulsar, landing a hit with the sword, but Pulsar get away. It’s a game of cat and mouse, with Pulsar almost chasing Gabriel, but have to duck and dive from their weapon. It’s hard to get a proper shot in with the wheels being so narrow, but time and time again they get underneath the giant robot. One of Gabriel’s hits lands on Pulsar’s weapon, sending a few sparks flying, but Pulsar is now the one on the attack. They rush in, almost driving through the wheel and sending Gabriel spiralling. Then they do it again. Pulsar are now on top.

And then Pulsar stop. Are they immobile? Apparently not, because eventually they get moving again, but it’s worrying signs for the machine. Just to make up for it, however, Pulsar then tear some more tread off Gabriel.


Kamikaze Pulsar part 2.png
Kamikaze Pulsar 2.0


Pulsar then stops again. What’s going on? With a little nudge from Sir Killalot, they’re off and moving again. Gabriel seems to take exception to that and attacks Killalot for a few seconds, before thinking better of it and getting the hell out of there. Then Pulsar stop yet again. This time Gabriel can get blows in before they continue working. Pulsar, in retaliation, send one of the bits of tread so far through the air it almost hits one of the ceiling cameras. As the battle timer counts down, there’s one last bit of action as Gabriel launches itself off the floor flipper, but that will about do it. It’s so close, who are the judges going to go with.

Pulsar had the damage, but stopped 3 times during the fight. Gabriel was certainly aggressive, but was it controlled enough? In the end, the judges have made their decision. The winner of week 5 and going through to the week 6 finale is….


So Pulsar join Carbide, Shockwave, TR2 and Apollo in next week’s grand finale. But there is still a wildcard to choose from. So who will it be?

Until next time


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