Robot Review: M.R Speed Squared (S08E02)

M.R Speed Squared (Apparently pronounced Mr Speed Squared, which I find odd but am vaguely willing to accept), was a robot with a lot of potential. I fancied them to get all the way to the heat final, but then I also predicted TAN to win, so what do I know? Still, the robot itself looks incredibly dangerous. A full body spinner, M.R Speed Squared looked similar in design to robots such as Icewave & Moebius (From Battlebots), or the robot from the 7th wars that I am never going to name on this blog, but you all know who it is anyway (Who am I kidding, it’s Typhoon 2). Unfortunately, M.R Speed Squared went the direction of Moebius and shat itself inside out after the first round, and from then on was pretty much useless. Having a full body spinner is fine, unless it doesn’t work. Not only that, but M.R Speed Squared was over the 110Kg weight limit, so actually had to shed one of its protective armour panels. 

In fairness, they only had about 5 weeks to build the damn thing.

M.R Speed Squared had to come up against Chimera (lmao), Foxic and Draven in their heat, though you already know that because I’ve reviewed the other 3 robots from that heat. I didn’t quite factor in just how repetitive these reviews were going to get when I started them. Honestly I did the first one so that I could laugh at Razer. Dear God what have I started?

So the battle begins. M.R Speed Squared decides to take the scenic route around the arena, mainly so that it can get the spinner up to full speed. I’m just glad they didn’t go the route of Poison Arrow (Also Battlebots- I feel like I have to indicate when I’m making a Battlebots reference now incase nobody knows what the hell I’m talking about), who physically count up to 12 out loud. Nobody needs that.
Either way, once MRS^2 does get up to full speed, they go straight for Chimera. And I mean, why wouldn’t you go for Chimera? They’ve got giant frickin’ car wheels attached to them. Sure enough, the first hit is enough to tear one of those wheels right in half.

Chimera somehow manages to run away, but tangled with Draven. So MRS^2 decided to finish the job, coming in and taking the other wheel clean off. Just like that, Chimera is down to half a wheel. It is impressive stuff.
So that’s one robot down, but with only two robots going through, and neither Foxic nor Draven actually doing anything of use that could immobilise someone, it was up to M.R Speed Squared to pick the next target. They went for Draven, I suspect because Foxic may have been a little too low down for them. That and Draven’s out panel was made of Kevlar-cross-Carbon Fibre, so they could definitely cause some damage.

And cause some damage is what they did. The first hit tore part of Draven’s front corner panel off, showering the arena with Kevlar shards. 

Feel the blade.png
Feel the blade

The second hit, on one of the side panels of Draven, was what finished it off, however. And So M.R Speed Squared, plus Foxic (But let’s forget about Foxic for now), go through to the second round.

You would think, given the way M.R Speed Squared dominated the opening round, that they would go into the head to heads as favourites, or at least one of them. However, after round one, it turned out that they’d basically incinerated their own bearing, and the robot was fucked. Not a particularly great state to be in, to be honest.

So the first head to head matchup was against Thor. Because Thor had the axe, MRS^2 decided to put the one panel of armour they did have on the top of the robot, which seemed like a smart choice.
And so the battle began, and MRS^2 seemed to be OK for the moment. The disc sort of span up, though it couldn’t do any damage to Thor’s front panel- that solid metal panel Thor had put across the front of the robot seemed to deflect everything. The high ground clearance of MRS^2 meant Thor could get underneath easily too, rushing them every time the disc looked as if it were going to get up to speed. And so the disc never did get up to speed, and never threatened. Eventually, Thor managed to get MRS^2 over to Dead Metal’s CPZ, and onto the flame pit.

Burn baby burn
Burn baby burn

To add insult to poor performance, Dead Metal not only got the saw in, but Thor brought the axe down a few times too. And, although they of course eventually escaped, Thor got right back onto them, pushing them across the arena and into the side walls a couple of times. Then, once again, they found themselves back in Dead Metal’s CPZ, and the angry space hedgehog held them in place long enough that Thor’s axe actually went through MRS^2’s armour. It only got worse, because next thing they knew, the floor flipper had turned them over, and now they were exposed on top. Thor, naturally, took advantage of this, and after a brief skirmish with Shunt, began to rain down the blows on MRS^2’s exposed innards.

Whether it was purposeful or not, MRS^2 eventually ended up in the pit. Either it was just poor control, or they really didn’t want Thor attacking them anymore. They lost, regardless.

Next up was Foxic. I’m not even going to talk about that battle here, it was that bad. If you actually care enough to relive it, read Foxic’s review. Or my recap for S08E02. Seriously, trying to write about it twice is painful enough, I’m not putting myself through it again.

Finally, M.R Speed Squared came up against Shockwave. After somehow getting the judges’ decision in the battle vs. Foxic, a win over Shockwave would put them into the final of week 2. When it started, however, M.R Speed Squared could barely get out of the starting blocks before Shockwave rushed them, slamming them straight into the wall. That was followed by a trip into Sir Killalot’s CPZ. At no point so far had MRS^2’s disc actually started spinning up properly. It rotated every now and again, but it could hardly be actually called a spinner. Having finished harassing Sir Killalot, Shockwave then pushed MRS^2 into Dead Metal’s CPZ, just so he didn’t feel left out.

Dead Metal vs MRS2
Yet another screengrab of Dead Metal attacking someone with the sawblade, because I really am that predictable.

Shockwave then lost a chain, not that it made any difference. They were still pushing M.R Speed Squared around fairly easily. And by fairly easily, I mean really easily. Shockwave then managed to lift them up and pin them on the arena side wall, where MRS^2 duly began venting large quantities of smoke. They got off, but Shockwave came straight back at them, pushing them into Sir Killalot. The rest of the match was fairly repetitive: Shockwave pushes MRS^2 around, usually into either house robot or the arena sidewall, occasionally lifting them up and tipping them over, then MRS^2 escapes, but Shockwave catches up. And repeat.

Until Shockwave finally got them into exactly the right position, and promptly put them down the pit. RIP MRS^2. About time too.

So, in the end, how did MRS^2 do? Well, in the first heat they were dominant, tearing apart Chimera, piece by piece, then immobilising Draven with only 2 hits. It was all looking so good, and then their performance in the head to heads was so underwhelming, I almost wasn’t sure I was watching the same robot. They were completely outclassed by Thor and Shockwave, and probably didn’t deserve to beat Foxic either.
I would give them 7 for that first round performance alone, but then I’m taking off 1 for each of the head to heads. Which leaves them with 4. Still more than Foxic.

Robot Rating (M.R Speed Squared): 4/10


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