Thor on 5 points. Shockwave on 3 points. M.R Speed Squared on 2 points. Foxic on, well, zero. With just one match each left of the head to heads, who would make it through to the week 2 finale? Thor look well set in the lead (And are, to all intents and purposes, already through), taking on the rather hopeless Foxic in their final H2H. Shockwave and M.R Speed Squared faced off in the other H2H, knowing a win would guarantee them a place in the final against Thor, something I doubt either of them were particularly looking forward to.
Head to Head 5: Foxic v Thor
The most pointless match in this week’s line of fixtures saw an already qualified Thor face off against an already eliminated Foxic, which I suppose at least meant both teams could really go for it and not care at all. Unless you’re Foxic, where it’s just a minor miracle of your robot actually works. Craig is very bullish in the pits, claiming that he was going to keep the scoop/lifter/flipper/fox’s head upright and, I quote, “Cut his bloody axe off.”
Now, most people took that as unwarranted arrogance, but I honestly had to stop myself falling on the floor laughing. I mean for one, the fact the BBC actually allowed that to be broadcast (Top marks), but it’s just the way he said it. Has he not seen what Thor’s axe has done to Shockwave’s almighty gas pipe snow plough? If Thor’s axe had actually come off (It didn’t), I would probably have become an uncontrollable bloody mess.
Jason, meanwhile, couldn’t care less. I mean why should he? Guy could go in there with a rake attacked to his robot and still probably win. Wait, no, Hypershock already did that (All hail our drone swatting American rake overlords). Point still stands though, Thor probably could go in with a garden rake attached instead of the axe and still win. Damn I so want to see that now.
Your house robots are Dead Metal (What a surprise) and Matilda. Somebody needs to give Dead Metal a pay rise.
The match starts as expected. Foxic have their wedge all the way upright to try and ‘cut his bloody axe off’, but then Thor don’t really need the axe. Infact, Jason just proceeds to drive him about a bit with the front end of Thor. Craig yells ‘Hit me!’- I didn’t know he as into masochism, but then we all have our kinks. Thor doesn’t exactly comply, but then when has Thor complied with anything?
The match actually turns into quite the shoving match. With Foxic finally working at what seems like full power, they are more than a match for Thor. They push Thor into the pit release button, only to be pushed back into the clutches of Dead Metal. It’s a real push and shove match, one that includes Foxic being a bit too low for Dead Metal to actually get a hit on with that spinning saw blade of doom.
Thor’s advantage mainly seems to arrive when they manage to get underneath Foxic, something made easier by Craig having lifted the scoop up to deal with the axe- the axe that hasn’t actually been fired once. We then get more pushing around, and more pushing around, until FINALLY Thor comes down with the axe! And guess what? It didn’t come off. So much for Craig’s big declaration. And, in fact, that hammer blow seems to have crippled Foxic, who now lay dead on the flame pit, in the clutches of Dead Metal. Very dead. Craig suddenly remembers his robot has Lithium-Polymer batteries, and that fire is very bad. Cue Dead Metal cutting a nice few holes into the protruding scoop of Foxic, and that’s the match.
As the match ends, Craig moves in with the line “Coward”, to which Jason simply replies “Damn straight.” Bitches. The lot of you. Matilda of course had to have the last laugh, basically flipping Foxic into the pit. As it should be.
Head to Head 6: Shockwave v M.R Speed Squared
So, the battle to decide which robot would be facing Thor in the week 2 final. Would it be the spinner of M.R Speed Squared or the scoop of Shockwave? A win, either outright or by a judges’ decision, would be enough to send either one through, making this an all or nothing fight for both teams.
Shockwave seem to have repaired not only their gas pipe variant of the scoop, but also the fingers of their unfortunate team member who just so happened to drop the robot on themselves. Perhaps not the best thing they’ve ever done, but at least they survived. It was a slightly interesting dynamic, having Dara interview them on the edge of the arena. Only thing that would have made it better would have been seeing Shunt do a robot ballerina dance behind them without anybody noticing.
Killalot 2.0 is in the arena for the house robots. No prizes for guessing who else in there with him. (Who am I kidding, Dead Metal was always my favourite of the original house robots anyway).
The fight starts, and instantly Shockwave has M.R Speed Squared up against the wall, and then into Killalot’s CPZ. With no axe to destroy it this time, the gas pipe seems to be holding up well. Not only that, but they managed to get onto MRS^2 so fast that the spinner had no time to get up to speed. No spinner, no destruction.
Shockwave meanwhile, a little bored, decides to activate the pit release button, because there isn’t any other way they’re going to win the match outright. MRS^2 are now away from Killalot, and back into the scoop of Shockwave, who take them all the way across the arena, and into the clutches of Dead Metal instead! It’s like pass the parcel, house robot edition. Dead Metal, who seems far more competent than Sir Killalot these days, manages to clasp onto MRS^2 and get the sawblade in, and sends it straight through the inner workings of the full body spinner.
At the same time, Shockwave decides it’s going to make this fight a little more interesting by losing one of its chains. That’s maybe not the route I would have gone (Especially given what happened to 259 back in the old days), but it certainly made Jonathan Pearce excited.
It doesn’t exactly seem to affect Shockwave too much, as they can still drive around perfectly fine. They then use this to once again hit M.R Speed Squared and ram them up against the wall. Trapped, MRS^2 are helpless as Shockwave lifts up the scoop, turning them over onto their side where they cannot self-right. Just to make things even worse for M.R Speed Squared, they then decide to once again channel their inner Moebius, and start leaking smoke everywhere. The resemblance between how the two bots worked is uncanny.
Shockwave decide they’re nice people, however, and actually help M.R Speed Squared get down from the side wall, if only so that they can push them back into Sir Killalot’s CPZ. I mean, it could be worse. You could have been Cobalt.
They escape, but Shockwave is still on the prowl. After chasing them back across the arena, Shockwave manage to get underneath and tip MRS^2 over, so that they robot is back to having the exposed innards on the top surface. And thus begins a loop:
Shockwave pushes M.R Speed Squared around a bit, usually into a wall of CPZ, they have a few seconds dodging the house robots, escape, and then we repeat. Shockwave at one point ends up buckling its scoop, not that it makes much of a difference.
Now I don’t know about you, but this fight feels like it’s gone on for more than 3 minutes I mean I don’t care, I’m enjoying myself, but I don’t remember writing a recap section this large before. Maybe it’s the fact I’ve started including pictures?
It all ends with almost a massive upset. Shockwave, having done literally everything, almost use all 20mph of their robot to drive straight down the pit. So, so very almost. In the end, they manage to get it back under control, and shove MRS^2 in there instead. A deserved victory, and a deserved place in the final to face Thor. The question is, have they learnt their lesson from last time?
Week 2 Final: Shockwave v Thor
So this is it, the week 2 final. Will it be the undefeated Thor going through to join Carbide in week 6, or will it be Shockwave, who have the most awesome variety of snow plough attachments I’ve ever seen. It’s not all doom and gloom for the loser- they have the potential to get given a wildcard, something only invented because 5 is an awkward number of robots to have in a grand final, and 6 is much nicer. 8 would have been an even nicer number, but there’s only 5 weeks of fighting before the grand final, and having 3 wildcards is a ridiculous idea. It’d be like EURO 2016 for fighting robots.
If I gave you two guesses as to who the house robots were for this fight, and one of your guesses was Dead Metal, then you obviously have as little imagination as the producers or just outright fancy it. I wouldn’t worry if you do, Jonathan Pearce fell in love with Matilda a long, long time ago.
The irony here would have been if Dead Metal hadn’t been selected, after being in all the other fights. He is, and so is Sir Killalot- the same Sir Killalot that looks like a bus and is just as useless as one. #JusticeForShunt #ShuntDeservesBetter.
The fight starts with a head on collision. Literally. And now that Shockwave has seen the error of its ways and replace the flimsy gas pipe with the original solid scoop, the result is Thor being sent flying into the air. Good start.
With the bucket scoop having a flatter edge to it, Shockwave is having more luck getting in underneath Thor this time around than it did the first time. Much like its previous fight with M.R Speed Squared, Shockwave is getting in and pushing the opponent into the arena walls, trying desperately to either tip it over or shake something loose.
And it worked. Thor looks downright stunned after a couple of assaults from Shockwave, and something definitely isn’t right with the robot. It’s slow and sluggish, unable to fend off the oncoming storm that Shockwave brings with it. And now that Shockwave have activated the pit release button (Shock horror there, didn’t see that coming at all…), they stand virtually no chance. With one final push, Shockwave sends Thor right over to the very edge of oblivion. Desperate, Thor tries to balance itself by manically pounding the axe up and down, almost sending it into a rocking motion. But Shockwave is still there, on hand to give it that last little nudge to send it falling over, and out of the competition… For now.
So, Shockwave are your week 2 winners, joining violent spinner Carbide (Already done better than Cobalt. Take that, ‘Murica) in the week 6 grand finale. I wouldn’t count Thor out of it just yet though- having been undefeated all the way up to the week 2 final, I would put my money on them being a front runner for the wildcard at the end of the 8th wars.
And so that ends this week’s recap. We look in for a real treat next week, with some well known former legends making an appearance. Former UK Champions Big Nipper, King B Remix, Dantomkia (Under new ownership) and Supernova all make their triumphant return. They’re joined by live circuit favourites TR2, Orte (From Ian Watts, the creator of Bigger Brother), Glitterbomb and Overdozer. I’m not even joking when I say Overdozer is made from fibreboard and has a petrol engine. All in all, it should make for a fantastic spectacle.
Until next time.