Robot Review: Bonk (S08E01)

If you’re wondering, I actually wrote this yesterday, but I scheduled it for today because I’m in Cardiff and I wanted something to help bridge the gap between posts without leaving a day in-between.

This is the second of my Robot Review posts, and this time round we take a look at Bonk. It’s basically a box on wheels, but with a rather dangerous looking axe attached to it. As I alluded to in a previous post, I actually saw Bonk back in the Robot Wars live events in 2014, where it did a grand total of nothing but flail about a bit with the axe (Which was, to put it mildly, pathetic), throw some sparks up in the air and then get tossed out of the arena by Eruption, a robot which is also competing in the 8th wars.

Basically what I’m trying to say is this: It was shite.

Competing in the 8th wars gave Bonk the chance at redemption in my eyes, as I didn’t give it much chance. Not least because it was placed in a heat with the almighty Carbide and Behemoth, who were more than capable of turning Bonk over and over and over until it became the robotic version of a Swiss roll. The General would certainly be more of an attainable target for Bonk to get stuck into, but that would mean really having to go for it in the hopes of racking up damage and aggression points. I wasn’t convinced.

Starting the match then, and Bonk decided to really go for it, assaulting Carbide head on before they could get their weapon up to speed. They even managed to fire the axe at them… an axe that then got jammed in the downwards position for the rest of the fight. Oops.
Not happy with just picking on Carbide, they then went for Behemoth, but managed to get themselves stuck on one of the arena spikes. It’s probably the only time an arena spike has ever been useful. Credit to them, the incident with the spike didn’t stop them continuing. There wasn’t much point continuing, because while Carbide was busy tearing off The General’s wheels, Behemoth decided it was time to turn Bonk over. And with the axe out of commission, that meant there was no working way for it to self right. Game over. Didn’t stop Carbide coming in to tear a few pieces off afterwards though.

Was it much of a shock? Not really. I wasn’t expecting Bonk to pull up many trees in the 8th wars, but I was maybe expecting it to put up a little more of a fight. I suppose the fact the axe fused downwards after the first blow didn’t help in that respect. In a way they got off fairly lightly, especially as, in the heat, Carbide’s spinning bar was only operating at about 70%. If they’d met that full force, it could have been even worse for them.

Robot Rating (Bonk): 2/10



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